Thursday, September 21, 2006

The life and times of the annoying Ashley Cole

I don't know about you, but this Ashley Cole is seriously starting to get on my nerves. Someone once told told me I look very much like him - I disagree, of course - which naturally made me resent the bugger even more.

Add to that the fact that he played for Arsenal at the time of the said comment, which is really no big problem with me, except that I associate him with a period of swashbuckling, breath-taking football wizardry at Highbury that many of us Man Utd fans (and some lesser others) were grossly envious of, even of many of us don't have the heart to admit it.

Also, he is a total and utterly shameless brat. Just like almost that entire Arsenal team (above) were a bunch of first-rate, thorough-bred whiners, whingers, and w***ers (7 letters, rhymes with anchors).

The guys in charge of the Chelsea kit couldn't tell the difference between their Cs and the Hs

But what really gets my goat these days is the continuing footage and print real estate given to his so-called illustrious career, all neatly put together in a ridiculous periodical otherwise refered to as a 'biography'.

Somebody should tell these youngsters it's usually fit to release a biography having achieved a lifetime of success, and having accumulated a certain measure of wisdom, lessons and even regrets.

Not something people like Ashley Cole know anything about, certainly. As it is, I am highly doubtful that he might even know the real meaning of several words quoted so eloquently in the book in question, such as:

1. camaraderie
2. duplicitous
3. loyalty
4. the

Biographies for people like the great Matt Busby and Bill Shankly are warranted, welcomed and bring absolute joy to the downtrodden masses. So too stalwarts like Sirs Alex Ferguson and Bobby Robson.

Even stuff on other Brits like Neil Kinnock, Jeremy Clarkson, George Harrison, or Sting. Certainly for giants of the game like Roy Keane and Kenny Daglish. Even Ian Wright (both the former Gunner and the Discovery Travel & Adventure host - he's the bomb!). And I'm definitely on the look-out for those on retiring geniuses like Agassi, Schumacher and the late Steve Irwin @ Crocodile Hunter.

But Ashley Cole? WTF?

Your thoughts, please. Discuss.

Amster-DAMN!
I know recent updates on *Dish* *Bish* have been quite slow. Apologies, I've just been saddled with a truckload of work.

As it is, I'm off next week to Amsterdam, to attend the season-opening race of the A1 GP in the famous beach circuit of Zandvoort, that sadly took the life of the great Gilles Villenueve (Jacques' daddy). Coming along with me are two good guys from The Star and New Straits Times.

Look out for updates in 15 days.

16 comments:

kickciggys said...

arsenal sold him out my ass....more of the other way round i'll say...shitholes like him give football a bad name.seems like u'll be flying off a lot these days huh...amsterdam...hmm...farmers definately do grass over there..haha...enjoy the trip

A Shabby Singh said...

Amster-DAMN!

You're the man, Keropok!

Desparil said...

rooney also got 1 right? it's all about the money lah.

Mamabola said...

I was starting to wonder what happened to you. Good luck with your travels, I'm sure you'd enjoy Amsterdam.

I thoght Ashley Cole was cute, till the last season at Arsenal. Now my views are closer to yours.

Keropok said...

Kickciggys: I got put in charge of a very interesting and inspiring project... that seems to be taking me places dude. Next stop, Jakarta. Blech!

A Shabby Singh: No Shabby... YOU the man!

Desparil: Rooney's book - like A Hole's - is not worth the paper its printed on.
What a waste of trees!

Mamabola: *retches* Ashely Cole??? Ewww...

Mr D said...

Cashley is a selfish bugger, he only left the Arse for the more rubbles and free petrol at Chelsea! He is a good player but has not really achieved much, a few league championships and some fa cups but not much else innit! And damm...he does look a bit like you....except you smile!

As for the autoborography, agree that it is too early in ones life. Same withthe ones from Rio, Roo-Roo even Stevvie G. To early to be retrospective but it is all about the $$$

They would be better served to follow guys like George Best and Robbie Fowler and release books later in their careers. Then again, these guys were characters and their shennigans make decent reading!

Mr D said...

Enjoy Amster-damm and have some of those special cakes for me!

visithra said...

more like once a month updates hummph - have fun in amsterdam - bon voyage ;)

Gallivanter said...

Cashley Cole is an embarrassment to football. We'll have to see at the end of the season who got the better deal with Cole and Gallas!!

Soccer Lingam said...

Ashley Cole is one greedy bugger - and that's all there is to it. I know footballers these days have a very short shelf life (15 competitive years, max) and compete in a highly competitive environment but this doesn't excuse all that greed.

AC was performing well, in a top team, and got jealous just because he wasn't being given as much molly-coddling as Thierry Henry??? Well, if figures now, doesn't it. Henry is loyal to Arsenal, and they knew all along (especially after the tapping-up incident) that Cole was a likely turn-coat.

Ashley Cole, go frigg yourself!

Ashley Cole said...

*sob*

Whay is every body always picking on me? I had to leave, because nobody in Highbury liked me. And I hate the Emirates. They didn't let me buy an island in The World like Beckham and Owen did.

*sob*

Am I really a selfish bugger? greedy bugger? embarassment to football? getting on peoples nerves?

And I DO know the meaning of those words. Cameraderie is the science of photography, innit???

*boo* *hoo* *hoo*
*u-waaahhh*

Mong said...

Wah Ashley Cole also come and comment here meh? AC...... you're an asshole, you shit!

Sorry for the cussing Keropok........ enjoy Amster-DAMN!!!!! Stay clean :)

spiller said...

let him la.. who cares about A Hole anyway?

Amsterdam, yeah.. those memories. those museums and cracks. ;)

Jemima said...

Have a good trip & take care, my friend.

*Sigh* I wish I'm the one making the trip to Amsterdam. :(

Keropok said...

Mr D:
1. I do NOT look like Ashkey Cole!
2. I will enjoy Amster-DAMN indeed.
3. You're right, it's all about the money...

Visithra: Been busy, busy, Busy Vis... I hope to regain my early days' vigour and venom soon.

Not complaining about work, though... Except that the next stop is Jakarta, and the dreaded Singapore (I hate that city!)

Gallivanter: Ditto - Arsenal made the better deal. Congrats on the nice win. Congrats to Willy Gallas too on the 1st goal.

Soccer Lingam, Mong: I echo your views, boys.

Go do what they said, Ashley Cole

Spiller: Congrats to Liverppol on the back to back wins / clean sheets.

Didn't I say Man Utd were crap though?

Jemima: If you were a journalist, perhaps you could have come along :)

Keropok said...

Mr D:
1. I do NOT look like Ashkey Cole!
2. I will enjoy Amster-DAMN indeed.
3. You're right, it's all about the money...

Visithra: Been busy, busy, Busy Vis... I hope to regain my early days' vigour and venom soon.

Not complaining about work, though... Except that the next stop is Jakarta, and the dreaded Singapore (I hate that city!)

Gallivanter: Ditto - Arsenal made the better deal. Congrats on the nice win. Congrats to Willy Gallas too on the 1st goal.

Soccer Lingam, Mong: I echo your views, boys.

Go do what they said, Ashley Cole

Spiller: Congrats to Liverppol on the back to back wins / clean sheets.

Didn't I say Man Utd were crap though?

Jemima: If you were a journalist, perhaps you could have come along :)