Monday, July 17, 2006

See, the emperor is naked

The truth – like it or not – is often the downfall of men.

We often try to make the truth an ally, and look for times when it reflects our sense of status and aspiration. We seek solace in the truth, as often as we try and seek shelter from it.

When it sides with us we spare no effort in ensuring our adversaries are made well aware of it. When it exposes us, we hang on to its trailing coat-tails for the slightest shade against the harsh sun.

The plain truth about Manchester United
... is that we’re in for a long season, perhaps even a very long decade of feeding on footballing scraps. A Worthington Cup here. A UEFA Cup qualification there. Perhaps one or two FA Cup semi-finals along the way. Klebersons, Djemba-Djembas and Dongs aplenty.

It’s all starting to look like 1986 to me vis-à-vis Liverpool. Curse the scouser bastards!

The truth is that - despite his best intentions - Sir Alex Ferguson, like an aging Tessio (re: The Godfather), simply doesn’t have the wit, cunning and venom he generously deployed in commanding the troops these past two decades. Time and success have eroded his enthusiasm. The loss of his authority inside the Old Trafford dressing room is inevitable.

The truth is that Carlos Queiroz simply isn’t Steve McLaren circa 1998/99, or Brian Kidd, circa whenever.

The truth is that try all he may, Gary Neville simply isn’t half the captain Roy Keane or the great Bryan Robson was. In fact, he isn’t even close to Steve Bruce.

The truth is that players like Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney, Park Ji-Sung and Gabriel Heinze (for all his ability and single-minded determination) simply do not have the maturity or discipline to sustain a winning campaign in any competition, much less the increasingly competitive EPL.

The truth is that while there is no substitute for class, there certainly is little that the likes of Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes and the venerable Ole-Gunnar Solksjaer could do to this end. Alan Smith, I won’t even mention.

The truth – as evident during the pre-season game against the Orlando Pirates - is that John O’Shea, Darren Fletcher, Patrice Evra and Keiran Richardson are at best, mid-table material.

And here’s the truth about Cristiano Ronaldo, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Liam Miller (Oi! There's only one Keano!).

And we all know hope simply isn’t truth. Not when it comes to Patrick Vieira, nor Genarro Gatusso, and probably not for a player like Javier Mascherano.

I am a Manchester United fan, and while I won’t be dishing out the hard-earned Ringgit for the new AIGgly strip, I will still be cheering them on from the comforts of my living room and the occasional pub this season.

But the truth is, they look like they’re headed back to where they were when I first started supporting them: 1986, mid-table rubbish!

Rub-*bish*

51 comments:

Daniel Franklin Gomez said...

What made you support them in 86 when they were languishing in the mid-table, was it Robson?

I suffered a similar fate with Arsenal in the early 90s, until Dennis Bergkamp came along.

Mong said...

Congrats Keropok....... your most honest posting yet.

The truth is Manyoo have always sucked. GO EVERTON!!!

Anonymous said...

the truth is YOU suck, keropok... you're a sorry excuse for a football fan. and now you're a shebby wannabe!

Mong said...

Ferguson looks like he's going to break into a tears anytime.

Anonymous, have some balls to leave a name, instead of name calling, man. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. Even lowly Manyoo fans like Keropok!!!!!! :)

Mr D said...

Coming from an LFC fan, I do not really symphatise with ManUre going down. However, you do not strike me as a cocky manchurian and I shall save some remarks from you. Regardless, a true fan will go through the highs and lows with their team. As a liverpudlian I have gone through that and I await the new aged of the almighty reds!!

Keropok said...

Daniel: Yes it was partly Robson, and partly my father being a Grobelaar admirer (they both had similar hairstyles!). I no like Grobelaar and his handlebar moustache, and went with the alternative. The rest as they say is history.

Mong: Thanks for the support. Cowards like anonymous simply not worth the bloody trouble.

And to Mr D as well: Keepin' it real, bro... As I always have!

Doreen said...

"... about Manchester United is that we’re in for a long season..."

Damn right. Sad, but true. And I think Ferguson's time is certainly up!

Hehe. But smart also ah you. Better write something about them not doing well first before the season starts. At least when other supporters bash us MU fans when the team becomes mid-table trash, you can say "I already knew that the 06/007 season was not theirs to be". HAHAHA.

spiller said...

karma, dude. Karma.

Mamabola said...

Well said. You keep suprising me with how many good postings you can conjure up.

When oh when are you going to be optimistic about anything, anyway........ First Zidane, then this?

Keep smiling Keropok :)

Anonymous said...

Wei, can qualify for UEFA Cup meh??? Sure or not???

Keropok said...

I say, Doreen... us Man Utd fans have an unspoken understanding eh...

Spiller, dude... karma would mean it will come back and bite you Scousers on the arse too. You flers aren't exactly angels, mind you! :)

Mamabola, rest assured I shall be optimistic when the time comes. For now, I'm keepin' it real!

REAL SAD!!!

Anon #2 At best, we'd be scrambling for those berths.

Desparil said...

nothing lasts forever.

bring in lippi. bring on 2006/07. United forever!

Soccer Lingam said...

Don't despair.... 24 years usually pass very quickly.

Ask the Italians, or the Brazilians, or even the British people...... they are used to waiting a long time for the impossible.

A Shabby Singh said...

At best a 5ht placing for MU next season.

I'm a Spurs fan, btw....... in case you all didn't know by now! :)

Metria said...

Have faith, Keropok! How can you doubt Man Utd lah!

I hope you haven't started doubting McLaren as well.

spiller said...

Of coz dude. We've been hell before too.

Now it's payback time.

Keropok said...

Desparil... if only, bro.

Soccer Lingam Saar, and my friend Metria hopefully it won't take another generation to repair this garbage at Old Trafford.

Same at McLaren (F1, not Steve)... took their bloody eyes off the ball with their Centre of Excellence garbage! Now look where they are...

I guess we're ought to be happy with Shabby Singh's prediction, seeing how accurate he is all the time :)

Spiller... what goes around...

kickciggys said...

what goes around comes around...enuff said.liverpool was there and it wasnt pretty..a couple of years later n loads of patience..the good times are nearing.and as for manu's jersey...adapuih!!even selangor mmpj's jersey is way better.and i still reckon even though the quality isnt as much as it was..if those overpaid stars had determination like alan smith's or keano's...it is possible

Daniel Franklin Gomez said...

One thing I've learned in the past, is never to write off Man U. I did that once and payback was a bitch! LOL! It ain't over til it's over...Keropok is just playing mind games... :-P

Doreen said...

HAHAHAHHA to daniel franklin gomez. HAHAHAHAH again.

Keropok said...

Kickciggys, you of all people should know I am not inclined to slamming decent clubs with decent histories....... like LFC (as much as it pains me to say it).

Chelski and to a smaller extent Le'Arse are a different proposition. Even losing to City doesn't hurt as much.

When you coming over to watch some games, bugger you...

Daniel... err, come on la, would I ever do that? Don't you think that post reeks of raw honesty?

I can't believe Doreen agrees with you... :)

Desparil said...

i say United to finish in the top 3 next season. have faith, keropok. have faith.

Daniel Franklin Gomez said...

Wait, isn't that an oxymoron? Man Utd fan and honesty? LOL! Kidding!

They should finish in the top 5 for the new season...else there's always Middlesbrough to fall back on..hahahaha!

Freak & Geek said...

*wink*

Doreen said...

Eh, I didn't agree! I just laughed out loud at what Daniel said. LOL. It's funny yo! HAHA.

visithra said...

Ah that first 3 paras were poetry in motion - footie motion that is ;) its been time fergie left for a long time - btw am a manU fan have been for a long time just dont watch epl as much now as our tv was taken over by serials :(((

Cosmic_GurL said...

Yup, I guess there IS only one Keano :)

Dame RoSse said...

aloha...
on a lighter note,
was at hartamas square for the germany portugal. and at the KL apartment for the final. the lady on the 17th floor must be cussing us. she is still not smiling.

honest opinion, i like.

podgykat said...

Hi Kerops, was here. Chin Up, man! Take care.

kickciggys said...

will definately drop by when the season starts...but till then i reckon you fill ur saturday nites playin 'the godfather' on da ps2...u'll love it...plus it beats the entertainment level of whats happening in italian football

Keropok said...

Desparil and Daniel... anything above 5th place will be a bonus best appreciated. As it stands, Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Spurs look way more attractive than Man Utd.

And you have no idea how much it pains me to say it!!!

Freak & Geek, how to wink when I'm in pain? :(

Doreen, how to laugh when I'm in pain? :(

Keropok said...

Thanks Visithra... always kind and generous with compliments, as ever.

Cosmic Gurl, Damme RoSse, good to have you stop by.

There's only one KEANO indeed!

Lama tak tengok, Podgykat. Good to hear from you again. Stoning out to Pink Floyd still?

Kickciggys, we must discuss this Godfather thing when we meet next.

Anonymous said...

Let's face it, Manyoo are a club in decline, and have been for some years now. Its just that this is the year that the slope becomes really steep and slippery.

The good players are either aging, leaving the club, left the club, or want to leave.

The ones who remain don't look like they could cross the street without help. For an illustration on this, just watch England's WC matches. Any WC match!

Former Manyoo 'stars' who became managers are also a bit suspect. Two have steered their clubs safely away from the Premiership (Robson and WBA, Bruce and Birmingham). Mark Hughes can't hold on to the good players.

Fergie is senile. And stupid. And might I add, uglyyyyyy!

The entire club stinks. The mention of them or the sight of their logo makes me wanna puke.

A totally repulsive club!!!!!!

Regards,
An Englishman in Kuala Lumpur

Keropok said...

The headlines say it all. Fergie is quite frustrated at the sexual rationing:

Fergie can only play with Dong after December

Read it here: http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=374088&cc=4716

K.M.Phang said...

LOL @ DONGGGGGGG!

Jack Daniels said...

I do not understand soccer.

Neither do more than 200 million of the most important people in the world, otherwise known as Americans.

Keropok said...

Jack Daniels... In Malaysia, and the rest of the civilised world, we call it FOOTBALL. or Fuusbal. Or Futbol.

And honestly, the rest of us don't get Americans. The only thing we understand is that you don't like anything that doesn't involve you using your hands :)

Pray tell, how on earth could you call something The World Series when nobody else plays it???

lilyliverbird said...

keropok,
I like your answer to Jack Daniels! My sentiments exactly, esp the last bit.

Err..as for the original post, me cannot comment lah. I've suffered plenty from the MU fans of the 90's :(

A Shabby Singh said...

I agree with Englishman re: Manure!
I agree with Keropok re: American man(?) called Jack Daniels.

Kelapa bhutto dis Americanos!

Keropok said...

LOL. I assume you meant kepala, not kelapa, Shabby!

Still, it was hilarious. I hadn't heard that cuss in a long time.

Lilyliverbird, I apologise for the scum of the 90s era. Many of these had left for Arsenal in 97, and the remainder I believe are now firmly behind Chelski.

My sympathies in advance should a number of them infiltrate Anfield in the coming season... seeing as how your boys are doing soooooo well! :)

Mamabola said...

I studied in America for the longest time. The most ingorant people I know were those I met there, who really couldnt give a toss what happened outside their world, which more often than not, was just Nebraska!

Football is great around the world but in the US. It was so frustrating having to watch the Mexican channels during WC98!

Mong said...

One helluva wallop on the American, brudder.

Gua caya sama lu.....

lilyliverbird said...

LOl. Don't forget the girls who konon-konon support REAL Madrid when Becks left.

Keropok said...

LOL @ Lily... "I cried when Beckham cried..."

Sepak baru tahu... then they'll have a real reason to cry!

Can't let these kuasa2 besar get away with the nonsense they're getting away with Mong-ster...

Mamabola, what a dreary time that would have been. World Cup in America. Like hell on earth, no?

Doreen said...

I know not much football happening now.. but waiting for your next post! Heh = P

Keropok said...

Got my foot of the pedal for a bit, Doreen... which means my brains are on 'standby' mode :)

Any ideas?

K.M. Phang said...

Ideas = things to do when your wife is away and there is no football on TV.

Blog abt that la Keropok!

... bcos I need some ideas leh...

9 said...

Man-Ure.. oh, how the mighty have fallen.. heh.

Keropok said...

Aisay, Phang... wife not at home go buy DVDs and watch leh... summore do what!

(P.S. Stop trying to trap me, dude...)

Stick to simple comments like Mr Nine / 9. Thanks for acknowledging the might of years gone, bro...

Mong said...

dude..... wtf???
how come got no updates???

Keropok said...

Nothing to write about... yet.
Any ideas, Mong?