Friday, June 16, 2006

Please Sir... please use some lube

I’m a huge Pink Floyd fan. And they have a very apt piece of lyric from their legendary Dark Side Of The Moon album, which a journalist covering the game in Nuremburg could perhaps use for his review of England’s latest game:

“Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way”

How true. How true.
Stevie always enjoyed a good tickle from tall men
So, England have had a great 10 minutes in the World Cup, two Englishmen have joined Paraguay’s Gamarra on the scorer sheet, and after Germany and Ecuador, they’re the 3rd team to check into the round of 16.

But for 80 minutes, they had very little to show for it. 80 minutes of quiet desperation. The English way.

Now, to be fair to England, the vultures had been circling for quite a while, and conditions were set for detractors to swoop down to feed on the entrails of the forlorn Owen, the hapless Eriksson, the unfortunate Lampard (after his misses), and the team in general.

Surprisingly, though, a quick check on the BBC boards an hour after the game showed many English fans themselves (let’s forget counting the ‘sheep’ for a minute) were rightly
uncharitable to the team:

"And England exhales... Have a feeling that that performance won't have inspired total confidence in England supporters?"

And again:

"Unimpressed with what was supposed to be a World Cup favorite. They absolutely struggled to beat freakin' Trinidad. Trinidad!

I would be very afraid of getting humiliated in the next round."

And yet again:

"Boring, boring, boring.

They will be defeated by Germany, Holland, Italy, Spain, Argentina, Ivory Coast, the Czechs. No chance whatsoever! Even Equador will be quite a hurdle."

I have been a big critic of Eriksson, Beckham and a number of other players in this team. But what’s fair is fair, and the substitutions were absolutely right, and very impressive.

Lennon and Downing provided pace and incision on the flanks, and while Rooney didn’t exactly Popeye his way to goal, his presence did spur the other players on.

But the commentator did say there was some sort of ‘conference’ going on at the England bench prior the substitutions, and my gut tells me the other English wallahs pressured Eriksson to making those changes; for a minute, I thought we’d see the entry of Owen Hargreaves!

But was it Sven who made those changes? Unlikely, if you ask me...

Well, here’s looking to the rest of the media reports to come through in the next few hours / days. Surely, they now predict a blazing trail of glory to the finals in Berlin and beyond. Surely now England will burn a path through to ultimate victory. Surely “it’s coming home!”

Let the
masturbation begin!


Mr D said...

All England should thank Liverpool Football Club and Rafa Benitez for signing Peter Crouch so he came into the contention for England. For were it not for his height advantage, the first goal would not have been scored.

To all those who have derided Crouchies selection, you should now thank him for saving your country from embarrassment.

Secongly, why is Frank Lampard playing attacking midfield (because he would be lousy as defensive CM)? He had 5 or 6 scoring opportunities and failed miserable. While Stevvie went up there and scored a blinder. A big game player on the worlds biggest stage and he is aksed to defend!!

You'll never walk alone!

Daniel Franklin Gomez said...

Crouch is so ordinary that he would not even make the Arsenal/Man Utd/Chelsea squad...he can only excel @ Liverpool....hahahaha!

Yes, Gerrard's a better player than Lampard...

podgykat said...

How apt your usage of that line from Pink Floyd! Ooops....!Hope you're not my bro masquerading as keropok!:) But that doggie sure looks familiar!Hey I've watched some really cool videos from the Dark Side of the Moon, I'll add that on to my blog if time. Brain Damage-love this one, I'll explain why on my blog..Cheers.

Keropok said...

Agree with Mr D about benching Lampard to give Gerrard a free role in midfield. He's one of the few Liverpool players I envy (this from a Man Utd fan *ahem*).

I think what would really lift his performances for England to another dimension is if McLaren throws him the captain's armband. The empowerment will tornado him to some truly great performances for England, as it did with Liverpool.

But I agree with Daniel on Crotch... err, Crouch, though. He was rubbish mate. In fact, that header probably saves his rep a bit.

! Podgykat: Good to see you again. Last time I checked both my sisters were allegic to cat dander, so it really can't be you, sista'.

Pink Floyd are great aren't they. What an apt line... Will check out the videos on your blog.

Mong said...

i have to give you credit, keropok. i thot after yesterday i would have seen a continued session of england bashing here.

your comments have been....... well.......... restrained!

nice caption though..............

thinktankgal said...

I like Crouch - something unusual but normal about him ;)

Anonymous said...

pink floyd rawks.
liverpool rawks.
gerrard rawks.

england suck, dude. they're are a joke as pretenders to the world cup!

K M Phang said...

It is starting to happen. David Beckham predict's England can improve with every game.

Some writers are already starting to compare this England team with the stuttering Italian who eventually won in 1982.

I just think they are clutching at the straws. Or as you say, hanging on in quiet desperation.

Keropok said...

!mong: Credit where cridit is due, hombre. And its only due for the last 10 minutes. And for the substitutions. And NOT exactly to SGE.

!thinktankgirl: Thanks for stopping by.

Crouch reminds me of a yao-char-kuey: long and odd, inconvenient on your hands, but useful when you got nothing else (to eat).

!anonymous: Ditto!

!k m phang: Here they come... God help us all.

Mr D said...

People love to bag Crouch but he has 6 times in 9 matches and England has not lost in those matches.

While England wil need Rooney and a fit Owen come the latter stages of the world cup (especially if they end up facing Germany in the 2nd round), PC has been doing what he needs and that is providing a target and support for England up front.

9 matches and 9 wins.

England should play Carrick as a holding midfielder ( he will not be as bad as Lampard) and let Stevvie run riot attacking.

Keropok said...

!mr d: Exactly what I think / said. Apparently Terry Venables has been pushing the Carrick envelope as well, but its all falling on deaf ears.

England will always suffer for as long as they have the celebrity, 'automatic starters' like Beckham and Owen on the team-sheet.

Time to tinker. Or time to get lost.

Anonymous said...

get lost better la, i think.

Anonymous said...

apa yang aku tak boleh tahan is these fellas singing their national anthem again and again...... takde hormat or decorum langsung.

kickciggys said...

stevie g is da man...lampard does not come close to his greatness..i say drop lampard n bring in carragher or carrick as the holding midfielder and let stevie g run loose...england will definately stand a better chance if that one switch was made...and for messi...he is a wonderkid..a joy to watch..i reckon the argies could go all the way based on that performance...n the spanish armada espanyol!!

NeiLDC said...

Lets the MSTRBTN BEgins.. im joining!

Daniel Franklin Gomez said...

Ah, screw England!! Argentinians look superb, and Spain too (let's see how they perform in the next game).

Keropok said...

Yes boys!!! Viva Argentina indeed!!!

podgykat said...

"Time"-video's on. Do check it out! Ta da.

Ariel said...

haha, you're right. it's mostly ball talk! ;-)

Keropok said...

!Podgykat: Will check it out. Its an awesome video. I recently bought the Dark Side of the Moon anniversary DVD. Interviews with MAson, Waters, Wright and Gilmour, including Alan Parsons (the engineer of DSOTM).

Awesome stuff. I am starting to have a relationship with it already.

!Ariel: your horror stories are freaking me out. I may not stop by your blog if you keep going on ;)

Kidding only. Come back again to talk some more balls.